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Golden activities include another woman.
Why did it have to be him? Who could have done this? Where is his body? Why did he leave without telling anyone where he was going? How am I going to live without him?
The last question surprised me. How am I going to live without him? I started to reflect on the time we shared. He was my brother but more. I could even say I loved him, but I see now it was more than just a friendship kind of love. I felt incomplete without him, like a car with no gas. No, that wasn't right! I felt like a car without a driver.
I really missed him. I missed his scent, his presence, his humor, but mostly I missed the caring and love he had for me. The feeling he gave me, the feeling that someone gave a damn about me. I still have friends, but if push came to shove I know they would abandon me. Coby would never have abandoned me.
Have I abandoned him? Have I done everything I can? After a month and a half wallowing in my pain, I finally began to pick up the pieces of my life. I started going back to class. I even started hanging out with my friends again, but I knew something changed. They knew it, too. I wasn't happy anymore. I used to be happy but after Coby's disappearance, I was just going through the motions.
Coby's family was devastated. Caleb took it the worst and had to see a shrink. None of Coby's family seemed happy anymore, it was like all the happiness had been stripped from them. They held a memorial service for Coby two months afterward. It was the most miserable experience of my life. I couldn't even look at Caleb or his parents. I felt responsible for his disappearance.
Then, two months ago, everything else in my life just started to crumble. First, Jamie stopped hanging out with us. We never saw her anymore except for a few nights that she went to the club with us. The fact that she went from going out with us five days a week, to only twice a month, had us all concerned. The worst part was she no longer came to any of the classes any of us had with her. So we began to really get worried. When we did see her she didn't want to tell us anything about what she was doing, just that she missed us, and it would all make sense soon. We never saw her at all during the day.
Then, a little over a month ago, we lost Steve and Scott to a car accident. They lost control of the car and it went off a cliff. It was such a waste. It brought Coby's loss back to me ten-fold. I was devastated again, and became depressed.
On top of that, we had another tragedy. Nick was found dead in his apartment three weeks ago. The police believe he fell asleep on his couch and a lit cigarette fell from his hand. The whisky he was drinking started a fire that burned him alive. Losing four of my best friends in less than half a year was killing me.
I started wondering if this existence was worth it. It was becoming much too hard. I had been very depressed. Losing Nick was the final straw. I didn't want to live! If this was what life was like, check me out of it! My world had crumbled around me. Two weeks ago, I tried to kill myself. If Peter had not stopped by to see how I was holding up, I'd be dead right now.
Peter was the only reason I hadn't tried again. He had been staying with me the last two weeks. He only left my side to go to class. I completely stopped going, the semester was a total waste. Peter had turned out to be a true friend through all of it. Sam and Bill would stop by in the evenings to see how I was doing, but it was the end of our partying days. None of the remaining crew had gone out since Nick's death.
Tonight, I snuck out of my room while Peter was getting us some dinner. I just really needed a walk to clear my head. I didn't care where I walked. I remembered seeing this big brown dog. It was strange. He just sat there on the other side of the street staring at me the whole time. I didn't really have a specific place to go.
I started to wonder if the dog was following me.