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A broken elevator provides a catalyst…

Lifting his head and wiping his eyes, he feigned a smile.

"So uh..." he cleared his throat. "I'm a mess - I'm sorry-"

"Hey, hey - no - you don't have to apologize for anything. I had no idea." I spotted a tear and brushed it from his cheek. "I'm honoured you trusted me enough to tell me. You have nothing to apologize for,"

Mikey sighed and rested his head on my arm, looking into my eyes.

"I like you Pete... I just don't want you to think I'm a broken freak, and I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what we're doing, and I'm scared to -"

I silenced him with a long, soft kiss - holding his head in both hands. I was scared too - scared to talk about an actual relationship between us for starters. There was so much I wanted to say though, things I wanted to tell him but couldn't bring myself to. It didn't feel right to burden him with my shit, while going through his own pain. All I could do was hold him until he stopped crying.

For the first time since we started seeing each other, Mikey stayed overnight. We didn't have sex. We went to sleep with me cradling him, and woke up the other way around.

* * * * * * *

In the weeks that followed that night, I began to feel a lightness. Our weekends became long chunks of time together, nesting, becoming what I guess would be a real couple. Mikey would come over Friday night after he was done work or school, and we'd hang out watching TV and what not. Saturdays we'd go grocery shopping, or drive out to the suburbs and hit up an old school arcade. A home cooked meal, a movie and sex would bleed into Sunday mornings, where we would just linger as long as we could in bed. He'd help me with chores around the house, and we'd have a light dinner before he went back home.

If I were completely honest with myself, I would admit that the stoic responsibility I felt towards Mikey had begun to fade, and I started to feel more on equal footing with him. The age gap seemed way less important as I let go more, and quit being so serious about things. As much as I thought I had to help and guide Mikey, he had actually started to show me things about myself I hadn't realized before. It all seemed to be getting easier, until we got closer to Christmas.

"So, do you decorate around here at all?"

I was digging through my laundry hamper, sorting colours and whites while Mikey stood in the doorway watching. I glimpsed up at him while on the floor.

"You need something washed?" It was Sunday, and I could tell that Mikey was getting a bit antsy. Sometimes, if there wasn't enough for the both of us to do around the house, he'd sneakily try to distract me - though more often than not, that included nudity and a lot of friction.

"Nah, I'm good. But really Pete - do you do the whole tree thing? I was thinking maybe we could go do one of those cut down your own tree things at like a farm or something next weekend." I tried hard not to smile. It was a sweet thought.

"I dunno, I don't have a tree stand or anything - I haven't really done anything around here for the last couple years. Um, maybe? Can I think about it?" I stood up with my basket and headed downstairs, Mikey trailing after. I opened the basement door and elbowed the light switch on my way down.

"Yeah, I just think...It would look so pretty around here. It'd be fun." He hopped up on the dryer while I went about starting the wash. "Aaaand, actually - I noticed something in the mail that looked like a lot of fun..." I eyed him suspiciously.

"Were you snooping again?" My eyebrow darted upwards in mock offence.

"I was sorting stuff for recycling!" His mischievous smile always made his crimes easier to forgive.

"Uh huh, and?"

"You've got a work Christmas party next weekend..."

My own smile tightened as I tried to keep a poker face.

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