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Expected Turn of Events by Wife.

And, like me, she had finagled a part-time job as a lab technician. I guess that, in addition to the pocket money, she must have liked the hands-on nature of the job as much as I did.

One night, about six weeks into the first semester, when we had finished up for the day, I asked her if she would like to go to the pub for a swift half. To my surprise, she said yes; yes she would. I'm not putting myself down or anything, but I really couldn't believe my luck. Fiona was a real looker. A real looker.

We went to The King's Head and, even though it was autumn, it was quite a warm evening. More like summer really. And our first pint hardly touched the sides. 'Another?' I suggested.

Fiona frowned and looked at her near-empty glass. 'Mmm ... maybe I really will have a half this time,' she said. And she sort of laughed. 'I don't want to end up legless, do I?'

I got a half of lager for Fiona and another pint of bitter for me, and then we sat and sipped and chatted for half an hour or so. And then Fiona said: 'So ... do you want to come back to mine? Or shall I come to yours?'

At first, I wasn't quite sure what she meant. And I think that I probably frowned. I think that I do that sometimes.

'I'm assuming that you want to do it,' she said.

Do it? And then I realised what she was saying. At least I thought that I realised what she was saying. 'Oh. Yes. Do it. Well ... yes, we could. If you want to,' I said. 'You know. Up to you really.'

'You don't have to,' she said. 'But I thought that you might want to.'

I looked at my watch. I'm not sure why. 'Yeah. OK,' I said. 'Umm ... perhaps your place then. My flatmates ... You know. You never know what they're ...'

Fiona smiled and drank the last few drops of her lager. 'Come on then.'

Fiona's flat was really nice. It wasn't at all 'studenty'. It was like a proper grown-up's house. And it was tidy. 'Do you want some coffee or something?' she asked. 'Or shall we just ...?'

'Yeah. No. Maybe just ...'

'OK. My room's through here,' she said. And I followed her into a small bedroom that was also surprisingly tidy. It was certainly much tidier than any of the bedrooms in my flat.

'This is nice,' I said.

Fiona smiled. 'How do you want to do this? Do you want me to take my clothes off?'

'Umm ... don't know. Up to you, I suppose. What do you want to do?'

And then I think that she must have twigged. 'Have you ever actually done it before?' she asked.

'Umm ... well ... umm ... you know ... not really,' I said.

'Not really?'

'Not really. No. But it's OK. I sort of know what to do. I've seen a few porno clips. Well ... I guess everyone has, haven't they? You know. And my mother gave me a book.'

'A book?'

'Yeah. I think that she meant well. But, frankly, I didn't find it very helpful. I don't think that books are my preferred learning style. I think I'm a kinaesthetic learner,' I said.

Fiona nodded and smiled. 'Hands on.'

'Apparently,' I said.

'Well, put your hand on this,' she said, and she pulled up her skirt and pulled down the front of her knickers.

It was a lot warmer and softer than I had expected. And the little covering of hair was slightly springy, a bit like one of those patches of lawn that you sometimes find near beaches. 'Nice,' I said. 'Yeah. Nice.'

And then Fiona kissed me. I would like to say: 'And then we kissed.' But, no, it was definitely Fiona who kissed me. But it felt very nice. Very nice indeed.

'How is your cock?' she said. 'Is it getting hard?'

'It often gets hard,' I said. 'Well ... hardish anyway. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure how hard it's supposed to get. I'm still learning. You know.'

'Fortunately, I'm also a kinaesthetic learner,' she said, smiling. And she put her hand down the front of my trousers. 'Oh, yes. That's coming along nicely. I think that maybe we should take your trousers off.'

'Yeah? If you think so,' I said. 'Although I think that I should warn you that I'm not very big.'

Mother's book hadn't made any mention of size - as far as I could recall.

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