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Living with the aftermath.

'I'm just reminiscing, it's a good memory. Don't tell me you don't think about it. I know that you do.'

'Shaun you raped me!' she rasped.

The bottom dropped out of my stomach.

When I first met Sarah it was months before she was comfortable enough to allow me to get close to her physically. She explained once we had been together a while, that she had been sexually assaulted as a teenager, that it had made her nervous around men and that she had never gotten over it. We'd never spoken about it in much detail, but I tried to be understanding and was always gentle in bed with her. She also told me that she had never had an orgasm because of the experience, and that this was common for rape victims. I tried constantly through our three year relationship to make her come, however she would always stop me when the sensation became too much for her, never letting herself reach climax. I couldn't believe that she would sit and talk civilly with the source of her torment.

'Oh Sarah,' he grinned at her and moved the hand on her shoulder, gently stroking the cotton covered flesh. 'Rape is such a strong word. The way I remember it, we had both had a little to drink, we were young and we got a little bit carried away with ourselves. Doesn't that sound right to you?'

'No Shaun!' she said, her voice rising slightly, although not enough for other train passengers to hear 'You held me down, I asked you to stop and you wouldn't.' She was getting braver now, finding her voice again. She had just been shocked to see the guy again.

'Hmm and what happened after that Sarah?' he asked, that maddeningly smug grin still on his lips.

'I. . .I'

'Because I remember quite clearly,' his hand had slipped off her shoulder, and was now stroking her upper arm in a way that I wasn't happy about at all. Still though, I was paralysed. 'You certainly weren't asking me to stop a few minutes later, were you gorgeous?' Sarah couldn't speak. Couldn't respond. Her shining eyes flitted to mine for a split second, then down, then back to his. 'Quite the opposite in fact!' He didn't elaborate, but again his hand slipped down her body, resting on her knee.

Surely she would swipe the hand away? She would tell him that he was speaking nonsense, and she would ask me to come and sit somewhere else with her? She didn't move from her seat though. Placing his hand on her stocking-clad knee seemed to have broken what little resistance my girlfriend was offering. She opened her legs as his hand stroked up and down, stopping around mid thigh then tracing back down. She shuddered.

'There's a good girl,' he chided. 'I remember exactly how responsive you were last time I touched you too. It's like you just can't help yourself.'

'No, please,' Sarah moaned, her voice barely audible, and not very convincing.

'You see,' he said in a lecturing tone 'I found this last time we were together, my hot little Sarah.

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