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Insatiable woman drains 18-year-old Hoot.

Alex didn't handle any hiring but I thought maybe he could give me a good word or something.

It was about 10:30 in the morning and I was ensconced in an intense game of online poker when he called and asked if I could meet him for lunch. I accepted. I mean, what else did I have that was so pressing.

We met at a local bar and grill and made with the pleasantries until our food arrived. We focused on lunch and the afternoon baseball game playing on the screen over the bar while we ate, and then he finally got to the reason behind the invite.

"Henry, I heard about what happened at Capstar. Those guys have always been assholes. Don't let them get to you."

"Yeah, I knew what kind of people they liked to hire going in, but I need a job so what choice did I have, you know?"

"I get it. But...now, try and take this from the place it's intended, all right. I'm your friend. That was a shitty thing those guys did, no one's arguing that, but..."

"But what?"

"The thing is...that's the general opinion around town."

"What is?

"That if you got fired by your own wife that, well, there's really no reason to take a chance and bring you on. I've talked to some of the hiring guys at Brinkley and they said no one's seriously considering any of your resumes. And they've heard that from other places around town, even those that are actively hiring."

That hit me hard. I had at least held on to the hope that these companies simply had no positions open, but to hear that I wasn't even being considered for actual jobs was a knife in my chest. I tried not to react right there in the restaurant but I also couldn't seem to bring myself to say anything in response. I just thought about what Alex had said.

When I thought I could manage it, I stood up, dropped a $20 on the table and left, thanking Alex for letting me know what was going on behind the scenes. I drove home and suddenly sober seemed like a bad idea.

I parked myself on the couch and attacked my beer supply with alacrity. I was well on my way through the 12-pack when Angela got home a little earlier than usual. She didn't realize the situation right away but it didn't take her long.

"Henry, I'm home."

"There she is!" I said with more enthusiasm and volume than was necessary. "The little woman!"

She looked around and saw the beer cans strewn about and had no trouble evaluating the scene. I told you she was smart.

"You're drunk."

"That I am. That...I...am."

"God, you stink. I can smell you from here. Did you even shower today?"

"Sure did. Just before I had lunch with Alex."

"You had lunch with Alex? What'd he have to say? Anything available over at Brinkley?"

"Sure, lots of things. They're hiring all kinds of people, including salesmen."

"That's great. Is Alex gonna get you in on that?"

"Nah, he doesn't do the hiring."

"I know that, baby, but I'm sure he has some connections, some influence."

"I'm sure he does, but not enough to get me a job. No, he was just letting me know that I had become the laughingstock of the sales industry around here and that no one is taking me seriously."

"What? You can't be serious."

"Oh, but I am. It seems that getting fired by your own wife pretty much sends the message that you're worthless, at least as an employee. They'll hire kids out of college with no experience and people that haven't generated as much in sales in their whole lifetimes than I did in one of my best years, but old, useless Henry Weston isn't worth even a second look."

"I seriously doubt..."

"GOD DAMN IT, ANGELA!" I screamed, shutting her up in a big hurry. "Just fucking stop it, okay? Stop trying to make like you can't believe I can't get a job! You yourself fired me because I wasn't getting it done to your standards. My own fucking God damned wife fired me and yet can't seem to fathom that everyone else has the same opinion! You ruined my fucking career, Angela, for your own fucking job so quit trying to put some positive spin on it. There isn't one!"

I'm sure it was a combination of way too much alcohol and no food (at least not sin

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