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The baby shower might have been different.

Or a game of truth or dare in the back meadow on some August night with the neighbor's kids and any obvious boob touches or mooning would scare them off. But a wedgie? They'd never suspect, and it became a game of maneuverability, how to convince someone that you'd hate it if they gave you a wedgie but they should anyway, how you don't have any desire to do it to them but you would if you had to. It's like a punishment, a humiliation. And that's another thing so erotic about wedgies, the humiliation, the embarrassment factor. It's almost kinky, those hands sliding down your back and squeezing their way past your belt line. The brief pause while hands curl around the waistband before their inevitable trip northward. How stretchy the underwear was back then, how visible it would be at the top of the tug.

So many self-wedgie experiments. Your own underwear, your cousins, your mothers. Big pairs, tight pairs, the pair you stretched out but still always refused to rip so you kept it around just as embarrassing proof of your weird fetish. The fumbling hanging wedgies of old when you were too young and flustered to pull off getting rope to your room and too short or weak to be very mobile. Tying yourself to bedposts, the thrilling fear of getting caught or the wedgie hurting, the gut wrenching disappointment of your laborious hanging setup failing and having to re-tie yourself or find a new spot. Honestly though, what's best about wedgies is the imagination. How many wedgies have you come up with on your own, named yourself, then gone online to find out another wedgie lover has done the same thing but used a different name? Thong wedgies, jock locks, bra connection, around the worlds, messy, propeller.... Sometimes it would be frustrating, other times the camaraderie of it all would become so validating you wanted to reach out and hug them.

The only time the wedgie fetish gets shady is after you start growing up and everyone else seems stuck in the past. Nothing is worse than putting in a youtube session to see what the week's videos have produced and finding a bunch of videos made by 8 or 12 year olds added to some grown-up wedgie lovers fetish list. No offense wedgie community, but prepubescents are just out of the picture. It's just fucking wrong to watch or encourage those.

As you get older the wedgies start to fade out, other people start thinking they're childish or weird, definitely not sexy. But you can find ways to sneak them in, maybe a playful hug that turns into a wedgie, or if someone bends over and leaves their thong or panty line hanging out. And I mean WAY out, that way they don't get suspicious. I mean, the last thing you want to do is alert people that you have a wedgie fetish! Then you'd be weird, plus it's just a little awkward for people to know what your fetish is anyway. Even if it's just blowjobs or ear nibbling or whatever. But you find ways to get them in. In the bedroom they can be playful or sexy, it's just that for your non-wedgie loving partner you tend to have to be gentle at first. Then they get a chance to feel some of that getting warm, the moistening, the gentle rubbing on their private parts, the kinkiness of having something split their cheeks and be so close to their asshole. They squirm, but then you feel their body take over and give in. Sink in. *chuckling* Then you pull too hard and they come out of it and demand that you stop. Ah well, next time, next time.

I (probably) haven't given myself a wedgie in a long time, I just feel too old for it.

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