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Jeanie and the elves get down.

"Maybe." He lifts a red shiny ball from the ball dispenser tray and preps it, getting ready to start our second game. "But I hope you paid your tuition. Because you're about to go to school."


I win the second game. Thank God. I had never bowled better in my life and I just squeaked by. Two strikes in the last frame. I am the man! I am a champ! Okay, calm down. Play it off like it's nothing. No big deal.

"Good game," I say.

"Fuck you," she says. I smile. "Ready for round three," she asks, holding up her shiny ball.

"Yeah, but... let's make it interesting. " Our ears have adjusted to the constant toppling of pins and we're no longer shouting. Just sort of... talk-shouting.

"Oh yeah? What do you have in mind?"

"A bet, of course."

"A bet?"

"Yeah, everything's better with bets!"

"Sounds good. Do you want to start at 1 grand, or 2?"

"Ha ha, no money. Money bets are predictable. And you don't strike me as a predictable person."

"Okay, then, fine. What do you have in mind?"

"How's about," I start, "if I win... you give me a kiss... not a quick peck, not a rinky dink one, a nice, real, long, deep, passionate kiss... right out here on the lanes for everyone to see." She held her ball, narrowed her eyes, smiled slightly and cocked her head sideways.

"And if I win?"

"You name it."

"Hmmm," she thought out loud, staring at me.


Back at the bar. She's sitting close to me, smiling wider than a Cheshire cat, playing with a strand of her hair that has fallen out of place. I'm nursing a beer.

"Well... you lost the rubber match," she tells me.

"It's true. I did. But to be fair... I don't think those were regulation-sized pins. They seemed skinnier. And more elusive."

"Oh, wow, excuses now, really?"

"I'm not making excuses."

"Well then... time to perform your half of the bet."

"Okay." I knew that was coming. I had half my beer left and I brought it to my lips and slowly downed the whole thing in one go, then dramatically placed the empty bottle down with a thud. "Here I go."


He stands up.

"Attention, everyone! Attention!" The bar quiets down and all eyes are on him. "I am a duck! And I have this to say for myself! Quack, quack. Quack, quack, quack. Quack! Quack-quack-quack! QUACK QUACK! Quack-quack, quack-quack. Thank you."

He sits back down. I giggle and applaud. "Bravo! Well done." He smiles.


I wake up in my bed. Alone. The previous night had ended with a goodnight kiss. I didn't win the bet, but I got one anyway. I like her. A lot. I think about waiting a day or two before I text her... you know, play it cool? Make her wait? But... I don't. I text her before eleven. I should have at least waited until after lunch.

I text: I had a lot of fun last night! (Even though I lost!) When can I see you again?

Sent. I wait for a response. An hour goes by. Then two. Nothing. I go for a walk, run errands, mail a letter, come home, watch tv, go out again, buy groceries, come home, watch more tv, shut off tv. Nothing. And then... a buzz.

I read her text.

"If you want to go out with me again, I want you to watch these first and then when we meet up, you tell me what you think about them! ; )" Her message was followed by three hyperlinks. I clicked on the first one. It brought me to a website with a video. I clicked play on the video. Oh. Oh, wow. Huh. Well. Gee. Hm. Wow.

I was not expecting that.


We set up a date and time for him to come over. "I'll make dinner," I say! "Cool," he says! We don't really mention the links. Well. It's here. 9 o'clock on a Saturday. And I sit on the couch watching Youtube videos on my laptop, pretending like I'm not anxiously waiting for his arrival.

The dinner stuff sits on the countertop. Spaghetti and meatballs. I figure, you can't go wrong with spaghetti and meatballs. Originally an Italian dish, it has since been adopted by the


What is up with all these cat videos? Darth Vader cat, cats playing poker, a cat that sounds like he's saying, "I love you," a cat that sounds like he's saying, "I hate you," a cat that can do a backfl

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