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Straight guy finds his buddy all dolled up and gets some.
Donald explains that had looked around and noticed this roadhouse, ideally located, and up for sale. It seem ideal, close to the university, his university background in sports, his pro fame...the ingredients were all there. He made a few contacts among the alumni and suddenly the 12 million-dollar asking price was met. Pat became the major owner but the other owners give him the advice so that he doesn't make any major mistakes.
* * * * *
As you look around you conclude, correctly, it is a gold mine.
As the meal and the conversation wind to a close you see the Governor and his party of eight arrive and see that there is a disagreement and angry words exchanged, but the Governor, after glaring in your direction, leaves in a huff.
Finished your meal you leave the restaurant, get into the car, and quietly proceed back to you home.
As you get out of the car he comes around and, placing his hand near your elbow walks with you up the icy walk, not touching you, but there just in case you might slip. When you reach the door you fumble with you keys and when you get it open you turn to face the inevitable only to find, his hand outstretched to shake yours.
"Thank you for a wonderful day. It has been a very enjoyable day for me. I can't tell you when I have enjoyed myself more. I am indeed fortunate that your furnace went out. Fate was kind to me today."
Finally, you mentally explode. As you take his hand to shake it you say silently to yourself 'what in the fuck is going on with this guy, I don't even know WHO he is, and, now, after a wonderful day, all he wants to do is shake my hand! This is fucking unbelievable. Why is he not at least trying to cop a feel or get in for a quick lay'.
As he turns to walk back done to the car you ask him if he would like a cup of coffee to finish off the evening. He hesitates before he says, "are you concerned about what your neighbors might say?"
You are dumb- struck. You don't know what to say. All you can think is 'Where the fuck is this guy from, another universe or time zone?'
All you can think to say is "no."
"Alright," he responds I would love a cup of coffee and follows you into the house closing the door behind quietly.
* * * * *
You take his coat, hang it in the closet, and when he is sitting on the couch in the living room with remote TV clicker flipping through the channels, you go to the kitchen to make coffee.
It takes longer than you had planned. It doesn't seem appropriate that that you do instant so the perk comes out. The mugs are left in the cupboard and two china cups and sauces come out with the matching cream and sugar dispenser. Some napkins and teaspoons and you are ready.
As you walk back into the living room you are thunderstruck.
There he is sitting on the chesterfield watching a re-run of the American President with Annette Benning and Michael Douglas and crying like a baby.
You set the tray down on the coffee table take the clicker turn the TV off and hurl the clicker at the wall smashing it into a thousand pieces.
Your rage has no bounds. You don't care what you say. You are beyond reason. You turn to him and with all the fury you can muster you scream:
"I've had enough. Who, the fuck, are you? I want some answers and I want them now. Why are you sitting in front of my TV crying like a baby? Why do these people call you Doctor and Professor? Why do they fawn all over you as if you represent the next coming of Jesus Christ? Why does the goddamn Governor call you by name?
You're just a fucking Burner Service Technician, for Christ sakes? Where is your wife that you referred to in the car?"
"I want some answers and I want them now."
You stand there fuming.
The steam is rising from you ears.
If you had High blood pressure you would have just had a stroke.
You are ready to hit him and it is almost as if he hasn't heard you.
Slowly he reaches for a napkin and wipes his eyes and starts to talk and talk and talk. He can't shut up and you listen in amazement.
You know, he starts that Movie A