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Nothin' like you and I.

It gets better.

Tom crashed out soon enough. My drunkenness', combined with that lovely adrenalin buzz, kept me awake for the next 30 mins, while I plotted away in the dark. Heart pounding, I got up from the sofa, and softly walked out of the open lounge door. Ahead of me was the first flight of stairs - to my right, Tom's bedroom door, firmly shut, no signs of life whatsoever. I began to gingerly pick my way up the stairs.. careful to tread at the edges of the boards to minimize creaking. After what seemed like an eternity I made it to the short few corner stairs and onto the first floor landing. I could see two more rooms ahead of me, one room that was shut (I would later find it was locked) and another that was open. I crept along the corridor, trying the first handle slowly (amazing luck, thinking back.. knowing they were all away) but finding it locked solid. I tiptoed into the next room, a girl's room, definitely, I could spot a few objects in the streetlight glow coming through the half open curtains. I carefully slid the door closed, it was a smooth wooden floor I recall, then flicked the lightswitch.

I gazed upon a room the same size as the spacious lounge beneath, but with a huge bed and flowery bedspread, a few arty prints on the walls, general female paraphernalia sitting around. Its amazing how the panty thief's mind works - on my first sweep I spotted a big white fold-up hamper sitting in the corner. Bingo. I crept over to it, and began my first delve of the night. It was three-quarters full, lots of stuff in there. Her clothes generally smelled quite nice, a few perfumes wafted up as I hunted. Within a few searches, I'd pulled out two skimpy looking black thongs, nice and teeny, whoever this girl was, she was thin.. I must be honest, I didn't even take the time to sniff those beauties. Imagine it, 3am, half-micked, in a near-complete strangers' absent flatmate's hamper, stealing her private undies.. The same thought had occurred to me: time to get the hell out. I stuffed the panties in my trouser pocket, then crept back to the door, flicked off the light and reset the door to its former angle.

Here's where I got greedy. As I looked up the final flight of stairs in front of me, I couldn't believe my eyes. At the top, about 15 steps up, was a small landing and a window. I could see, sitting on this landing, a white fold-up hamper, with clothes hanging over the edge. Talk about on a plate. This mission wasn't over yet.. I crept up the next flight, just as carefully as the first, reaching the top to peer around the corner and see a few more steps, then the final bedroom- what looked like a loft conversion. Amazingly, this flatmate kept her dirty panties out of her room! I turned back to the hamper - and I remember now, in fact there were a pair of white satin panties hung over the edge of it.. I picked them up and not believing my luck put them into the other pocket quickly. I then expertly rummaged through the half-full hamper, using what there was of the moon/street light to identify another pair of knickers, what turned out to be a tanga-style black pair. I nabbed 'em, then began my trek back. I tell you, it seemed like a dream. Eventually I was back on the sofa, heart pumping, then subsiding, some sleep, until I awoke about 6.30am.

Not wanting to wake Tom, I got myself together and caught a first tube home.. when I got back, I had a proper look at my finds, oh yes sir. The two black thongs, "La Senza" make, were pretty but didn't really carry much in the way of stains or smells, unfortunately. Still, a pleasure of course .. The second two pairs both held a lovely, feminine and somewhat pissy smell - joyous for me, and it smacked of a careless lass who drip dried - and also the white pair had a lovely yellow and creamy streak along the gusset. Clearly the loft owner was a dirtier girl than the one who lived in the room underneath her.

Now, a quick side story, I'll keep it brief as this is part two.

I was fortunate to be invited to a night out in Bournemouth recently.

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