Mobile Underwater Videos
A woman faces the consequences of getting too inebriated.
I could see him sitting a small desk with what looked to be a computer terminal. He typed in a few keys and then turned again to me and smiled. "Right, there you are. Just as well you came in. Your appendix responded to my local beacon just as it should have even though you're not from around here. Your human bodies are programmed to respond when ever a service technician in the area turns on his local beacon."
"Local beacon? Look, are you sure you're really a doctor? I think I'd better leave."
"Nonsense, and besides, I'm not really a doctor, I'm a service technician."
"What about those diplomas and degrees you have?"
"What? Oh, those things on the wall? I was told I would need them here. This one is actually a certificate from the planet design course I took once and I think I just forged this other one. A couple of others were copied from one of your human doctors."
With that, I saw him punch a few keys and suddenly the pain stopped which was good but also, I couldn't move.
"What the devil is going on here?"
"Quite simple really, or perhaps, not so simple. You're eyes have gone bad."
"I could have told you that, if you had let me."
"Indeed you could have, but you couldn't have told me that they've been recalled."
"My eyes have been recalled?"
"Quite true. That's why I'm here on your rather drab little planet, replacing some eyes and doing other updates and upgrades, part of our rather comprehensive and long term warranty work."
"You sound quite insane. I think I'd better leave. I suggest you let me go."
"Can't do that now that you're here. It's against the rules I think and if it isn't, well it certainly ought to be. Don't worry, you'll be out of here in a jiffy, or may be two jiffies. I might as well give you all the updates and upgrades that I can. Let's start with the eyes first."
He came over to me and took a look at them. "They're both blue, aren't they?"
"Last time I noticed."
"I do hope I have another blue pair. Not fond of blue mind you. Partial to red myself. You wouldn't want a red pair would you?"
"Heavens no. Why would I? You can't be serious about replacing my eyes. That's major surgery."
He was over at a cabinet now and I could hear him opening doors going through drawers.
"It may be major surgery for you humans, but it's rather routine for us. My people designed you, you know."
"This, you humans, Earth, everything, the whole planet. Ah, there we are, a set of blue eyes."
"You mean to say your people, whoever your people are, designed this planet?"
"You humans are a bit repetitious aren't you. Yes, that's exactly what I said. We designed and built your planet. That's what we do, really, design and build planets, all shapes and sizes and everything that's on them. Been doing it for billions of years, really."
"Really? I thought God did all that."
He laughed. "No God. We would have found him by now, I think. I'm glad you mentioned God, though. I hadn't thought to check your operating system for updates. Yes, I see, there is an update for yours."
"An update for my operating system?"
"Yes human. Your brain. Unfortunately it was designed by a committee, a rather large committee I might add, and as you may have guessed, they thoroughly botched it. You think Windows is bad? It pales in comparison to yours. I believe when we built Antares, there was just one man in charge of the operating system, but, hmm, then again, five billion years later and they are still struggling with that fire thing, so, now that I think about it, maybe it's not so good."
He seemed to putter around for another moment.