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I meet her roommate, end up with my hands on two breasts.

I loved him that much.

He hugged me after, the first time I sang again.

"I told you school would be good for you."

He was right.


One day early in the fall, when I was getting ready to go home, singing something to myself, I forget what, a slight girl in my class came up to me.

"Hi, I'm Emma. I'm graduating this year, same as you, and I've been stuck with casting the school musical. I heard you singing to yourself, and you sounded pretty good to me. Why don't you come and try out?"

"I'm Angie. I can't really sing, I just do it to amuse myself. Besides, I've got to be home most of the time, for my brother, and I can't spare time for rehearsals and costume fittings and what all."

"Oh, you're that one. Sorry, you're a little famous, you know, for the effort you put into your brother, not having him institutionalized, taking care of him yourself. You know people look up to you for that?"

"Bullshit, I'm just too cheap to pay their fees."

She wasn't going to go there.

"Look, I think you're a better singer than you think you are. Let the people responsible for putting on the show decide. Ask your brother. I'm sure you could get some friends to look out for him for the extra time. Or, since I'm not in the show, if you have trouble my boyfriend and I could help out."

"I should have thought you'd be in the show."

"I can't sing. For real. You really sound good."

"Okay, okay, I'll check with Tommy. He's not too responsive, you know. It may take time to get a response. How about I let you know when I do?"

Emma saw through my little deception right away.

"I think perhaps I'll check with you every so often. I really think you'd add a lot to the show."

"I'll check with Tommy and see what I can do about lining people up to look after Tommy. I can't afford to pay for it except maybe when the show's actually on. My friends will probably want to go, too, everyone does. What are they planning?"

"We want to do Oklahoma. We have a really good baritone to play Curly. Gordon MacRae doesn't go to this school, but we've got somebody who sounds like him. You can't get by with a mediocre voice in that role, and we have a good one. The female lead is a touch weak, even though Laura Frost thinks she's got it sewn up, and I'm still looking. What's really hard for a production like this is the second leads, the comic actors. Things are looking pretty good there, and we've just about filled out the chorus."

"I'm no Shirley Jones, let me tell you. If Tommy says it's all right, I might fill a hole in the chorus, if your people even think I can sing - or, I suppose, they can tell me to shut up, but I'm not much of a pretty face just to take up space. You'd be better than me for that."

"Thanks. Get your eyes checked. Or your mirror. We've got enough singers that we don't need to fill the stage with drones. Just not enough good ones."

"Okay, I'll ask."


Since Emma wasn't going to let me off the hook, I did ask Tommy that night after supper. I'd made real progress. Tommy would sit down at the table for meals, now. It had been really easy. I just refused to feed him if he didn't. A couple of nights, and there we were. It really hurt not to be feeding Tommy whenever I ate, but Doctor Ames had told me to persist. Tommy had to do as much in the old ways as I could make him, without stressing him out too much. It worked, too. Tommy came out of himself a little more often.
"Tommy, I've been asked to try out for the school play. What do you think? I'd have to get other people to stay with you."

Tommy was back with me, just as he used to be, for a few minutes.

"What's the play, Angel?"

"It's a musical, 'Oklahoma'."

"You should do well in a musical, Angel. I can hear you now, carolling over the chorus in the finale. Do it, Angel. It would be good for you."

"Tommy, I can't sing well enough to carol over the chorus. I can't dance." Boy, could I not dance. Ever run across someone who got kicked out of ballet the first day? That was me.


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